a new year, a new hope

dats rite.. new year come wif a new hope.. life will nv be the same for me this year.. im a year older, holding a much important role in church, being a better fren i hope.. actually, i still do not noe whether am i good enuf for all those things.. whether am i ready.. life is not simple for me actually.. i think life is nv simple for me.. i've gone through stuff which i nv thought i would have gone through.. i began to see life from a different perspective.. i began to see myself as a different person..

When someone from my church actually says that he is planning for his funeral, when he is only 40 plus, i was like, eh, how can it be?? but he says dis, u nv noe wat will happen 2molo.... it kept me thinking.. until jus now i cont watching the drama, which dats bcoz i lazy wanna do my assignment which is due next monday.. a gurl died.. den the guy regret on how he treated that gurl, eg, din care bout her, misunderstand her and all sorts of things.. but only when the gurl died, he found out that the gurl still love him, (they were couple b4).. but dats too late.. coz no matter how u say i love u, the gurl cant hear it.. he was sad, and all sorts of things happens la...

den i ask myself.. wats the things i wanna do before i died?? and there is this thought bour her that came to me... and i was like, why?? after so long??.... if there is one thing i will say to her before i died.. it will be this..(btw she wont read dis)

"im sorry for how i've treated u..................................", others i wont write out la.. but dats the main thing..

im not good in toking.. i mean i was nv good in toking.. most of the time i will be the one very quiet when hanging out in a group.. so i guess i can jus write......

so ppl, live ur life according to how God wants u to leave.. U do not want Him to question u when u're in heaven rite?? (for Christian)

For those who had not known Christ, i pray that all these things i write on this blog will actually touch ur heart.. i've gone through tough times, but bcoz of God, im still here writing all my experience down..


Trust GOD... He will pull u through.. He has done it for me.. im sure He will pull u through too..... God Bless ppl.. hope u guys had a good new year ahead of u.. life is challenging.. so dun give up...

sad

jus came back from church... it was the saddest new year in my life.. it does not feel like new year.. and i listened to stuff i shud not noe.. argh.. is jus hard to accept..

my wish for last year.. was no more... dis year wish?? i really dunno.. i dunno shud i continue my wait, or shud i jus leave???

Tired of me?? Tired of everything??.. God, pls take off every feelings of me to her... im dead in her life... i jus wanna be ok in everything.. i cant concentrate in everything i do coz my heart is too divided.. i jus want a plain and simple life... i dun wan to be too complicated in everything.. a simple guy, wif a simple gurl, wif a simple relationship... dats my wish.. i think..

dun wanna tok much.. is last year..

no more wishes...

well.. my wish totally blew up.. dunno shud i be sad bout it or wat.. but, din really wanna tok much bout it d.. its over... i guess...

at this moment, i kind of felt sad.. not sure why.. God really gave me a hard time to digest all of these stuff.. i tried, and tried, and tried..... but, there is ntg i can do.. i struggle, i prayed, i do watever i can... but life is like dat, u wont get all the things u want..

its the end 2molo.. i mean for the year.. and its like one year d.. we din tok very nicely for the past one year d.. everything changes.. i really dunno why do i still like her.. izzit really that i put too much feelings into dat relationship until i cannot pull myself up?? everyone says time can heal hurts, and feelings will lost.. but why am i still having dat stupid feelings in me??????!!!??? i really wanna let go.. i really wanna jus let it out.. at this present moment i had 3 assignments due in january.. and i have to go through lots of emotional struggles.. how la????!!!?!??!?!??!?!?

to tell the truth, i dun wanna enter into a new year wif this feelings.. but, looks like i have to......

anw, enuf of being emo.. Went to KLIA to sent Chen Wee off 2day.. well.. he left for new zealand for 6 months.. haha.. dunno why, but i felt emo too.. coz he is a fren, a teacher, a bandmate and a mentor to me... he left for holiday d.. dunno la.. well, he will be back... wif another person if possible.. hahaha...

but seeing someone important to the church left, is like, weird??? i dunno how to explain dat feeling.. is jus weird la..

i really dunno can i take up that position or not.. wif my heart too divided... i really wanna let it out.. but how??

WWJD, when face wif this situation???

I NEED AN ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

same day...

well.. got lots of wishes from my collegemate, church members, frens, high skul frens.. well.. i really appreciate it.. hehe.. thx alot once again..

i had a memorable bday 2day.. ppl celebrate their bday in malls, mamak, and other nice places.. but i celebrate my bday in church, cleaning up.. it was superb tiring.. haha.. but dunno why, i kind of enjoy it.. seeing everyone helping each other clean up the church, pouring out water from the baptism pool, vacuuming water(u actually can do dat).. shifting stuff from upstairs to down stairs.. and lots more.. really tired rite now..

but there is one more wish before the clocks hits 12... is too personal to write it here, but my cg gangsters shud noe wat i wish for.. haha.. if it is God's will.....

maybe i shud not hope for much.. i do had a fun time 2day.. thank u everyone.. especially my cg members.. u guys made my bday a memorable one.. especially dat "facial".. haha.. yang, can i have a pic on dat.. haha..

jus checked.. ntg.... maybe, nah.. nvm..

2molo will be my 1st day taking over chen wee's position as worship coordinator, pray dat God will guide me through.....

the day

went to teluk Gong yesterday for our cg outing.. it was fun.. eating and eating and eating.. one of the best seafood around town.. haha...

din really noe how to explain on wat happen dis morning at 12.. the whole bunch of ppl come to my hse wif a "bun" wif a candle.. i was like.. ok....... but im really happy.. haha.. though lots of stuff go through my face.. some weird "facial" on.. but it was fun.. haha.. though i din make it fun.. haha.. coz i was "cool" all the way... muahahahahaha...

but, wat i wish for 2day.. most likely wont come true.. i shall make the same wish again for next year... haha

1++ more days......

a day dat i've been waiting for one year... has finally arriving soon.. din noe wat to expect, so i will just wait..

watched a drama, dat episode is about this gurl coupleing wif another guy when her ex din treat her nice enuf, or like take her for granted like dat... so makes me thinks back on what happen last time.........

Christmas is the time when memories flashes back... sometimes, is jus so hard to let go when it keep coming to u...

The only hope i left now is God... Jesus Christ, which is the reason i live....

God, will U guide my way.. be the Light of my life...

Thank U God...

"Emo now, so will post other things dat happens 2day later..."

hay wire

haha.. Christmas eve service was not as good as i can think off.. the only thing dat was nice is the lightings.. dats the only thing nice.. i wont comment much on how the worship and drama thingy, coz it wasn't dat good.. i mean not them, but the small small technical stuff.. received alot of comments, good and not good.. but who cares.. its over, and im glad.. haha..

Things din go the way i wanted.. but, it was ok in some sense la.. we really need to practice more, and rehearsal more to get the feel of the things happening on dat day.. dats the thing i learn from all the mistakes i made..

slumber party was ok.. everyone was pretty tired after a long day.. so we slept at 4am.. after makan and some chit-chatting...

woke up at 11 something, watched cartoon network, went to uncle thin fook's hse for lunch, makan, sing song, and jus had meeting wif chen wee and chris for the worship ministry stuff..

Chen Wee is leaving soon.. well, i bet all of us will miss him.. though onli for 6 months.. haha.. he is a blessing for the church.. his talents is like WOW, and really, those times dat we come for jamming session at church on wed nite, that was the killer, bcoz of that, our skills improved..

anw.. those jokers will be going rbs 2molo.. hope they will experience God in a diff way.. haha..

ciaoing now, very tired, but dun think i will sleep.. the next question i had to ask myself again...

"wat to eat for dinner?"....

today is the day

well.. im feeling worried, exited, being sien(coz got 5 hrs break).. and many others mix feelings.. hmm.. dunno how 2nite will be?? hope it will be nice, and fun.. i hope.. haha..

well.. doing stupid things now.. i mean real stupid.. haha.. im feeling very the tired.. feel like sleeping d.. sure dat joker will put me to sleep in 20 minutes time.. haha..

anw..

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

Christmas Eve......

2molo is Christmas eve.. yup.. and i will be playing bass for worship, and sound guy, and lighting guy.. haha.. have to rush after class to church 2molo to set up..

dunno why.. i felt scared/worried.. is jus not me.. i kinda felt lonely.. serious.. my mood is not really dat happy.. felt drained out.. and many not good feelings.. well.. i really dunno how am i going to react 2molo.. if there is a wish that confirm can be fulfilled.... i wish..... she will really enjoy herself.. rmb last year, funny year.. but at least i had fun..

i really thank God.. i actually can biasa without smsing her every single day.. i thot i would be siao for this whole year.. but i actually made it.. i kinda felt relieve.. God really pull me through when im in need.. Thank God..

yupz.. i really kinda felt lonely now.. hope a miracle will happen.. haha.. but my personal hope normally wont come true..

Im going give my best 2molo....... I promise I will......

Taman Desa Waterpark

it was fantastic as i can say.. but din manage to play the most interesting part.. haiz.. sorry ppl.. and now.. kena sun burned.. painful la my face and shoulder.. ouch..

haha... well i dunno how to explain wat we did 2day.. but wat i can say is FUN.. we actually can start a story based on the shots dat jon took.. haha..