another cny visit..

well.. for the 1st time in my entire working life, i finally went out with my colleagues.. haha.. dats true.. my 1st time going out with them..

fun, funny.. really nice.. well.. trying not to be anti social.. crack jokes with them, and being the photographer of the day, need to take picture of every single girl.. well.. coz, most of my colleauges are girls.. like i said in my earlier post.. well.. the onli guy dat when with me is my colleague's bf... so.. basically, im the onli guy from my company who went.. well.. like most post.. let the picture tell the story..

ladies from audit, tax, and secretary dept

Gan, Mei Ling, Jessie, Suh Hui (my right hand women who help take pic)

Rachel, Mei Ling, Gan, Chui Kim, Tho, Pei Shan, Angela, Suh Hui

The couple of the day.. (couples dressing)

CNY hols in sarawak...

after living on this earth for 24 years.. its my 1st time celebrating cny with my mum's side of relatives.. as in really 1st time.. not kidding or bullshitting..
i thought i will be bored, coz most of my cuzz are still small kid.. as in primary skul.. but somehow, it turn out great.. everyone mix around.. especially on the 2nd of cny, where everyone was present.. all uncles and aunties are there, all cousins.. everyone.. really enjoy those times bbq-ing stuff.. thx to my auntie who think of ways to get every cousin to mingle around, mix around.. and at the end of the day, 1st time in history, those of us who are older, went out for "lim teh" session.. really enjoy it.. joking around, fooling around, asking the deepest secret and all.. hahaha..

well.. its unforgettable.. well.. let the picture do the talking..

My uncle bought 6 of those

fire crackers!!

Family photo.. im behind the camera..

my crazy cuzzzzz!!

RBS..

i think.. after 6 years since my rbs days, i really missed those days.. days where we are without our phones, computers, internet, tv.. imagine calling back home using those phone cards.. how traditional is dat.. seeing 2day, how rbs have change the lives of the young ppl 2day, i remembered during my rbs days, when we were challenged to surrender our lives to God.. is not easy.. after my rbs days, i was on fire.. i mean, seriously on fire for God.. but, as times past, the fire began to watered down.. not so passionate about God, do things jus for the sake of doing.. not putting in any effort..

well.. i guess, its jus me.. chasing bout living happily ever after.. get a degree, get a job, get higher pay, get married, have kids, have grandkids, everyone is happy, im happy, den i meet God in heaven.. sounds so.. normal..

im ok in my work, but, i dun feel the passion in working as an auditor.. i dun feel d joy of working.. not dat im lazy, maybe im, but.. i dun have the thing for it...

i noe, as kids, we were trained to go for a good career, have a good family, to play safe, make sure u have enuf money to feed ur wife and kids, and bla bla bla.. i dunno.. but, i dun see myself able to chase all those things.. i felt.. shit.. confuse..

my senior asked me.. "wat do u want to do next time?" it got me thinking.. well, she can see dat im not really into the accounts type of person.. and i told her, music.. after rbs, or wait, after when i get back from scotland, i din noe wat to do.. i was den thinking of doing sound engineering.. layman terms, sound system, pa systems, recording, mixing of tracks, production dat kind of stuff.. listening to bands putting their tracks together, and making it sounds good.. dats my passion... but, it is not a "safe" job, where job opportunity is low.. well, got fired from my parents by it.. well, maybe dey are right, so well, here am i.. doing a "safe" job..

there are many challenges dat i face after RBS.. 1st thing when i get into the car, my mum asked, "now rbs is over, have u thought of wat to study?".. i really dunno.. i seriously dunno.. i have nv thought of doing wat im doing now.. checking accounts, rushing deadlines.. oh man... im sick of the thought of it..

i dunno.. maybe im jus not the 9-5 kinda ppl.. i prefer flexible hour.. but, i jus noe i cant.. i dun dare to go into any relationship right now.. coz, i dun dare to commit yet.. well, u need to have the money b4 u can have the girl, which is true.. i mean, u dun expect to pay AA when u go out with her right? and i can say im traditional thinking.. getting into a relationship means, thinking bout marriage in the future.. which means, u need to get a house, and money to feed ur wife.. and kids.. well.. thinking too much..

well, at least 2day, it got me thinking.. the presentation, the testimonies.. everything, made me realize one thing.. GOD IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.. and dats true..

and im proud of my youth... and a man, name Luke Chang.. i dun think he rmbs me.. i was in his church during my mission trip in RBS.. and, he was jus a small kid dat time.. cute, and cheerful.. 2day, i see a man of God, standing up on stage, sharing his testimony.. i can see his fear, but, the stuff he shares, is relevant.. how God change ppl's life, how God speaks to them.. its amazing..

oh well.. i need time to think.. on my future... wat do i really want in this life? i have a heart for college students, or, in RBS, where it touches me most.. rmb singing "great awakening" facing the forest.. i really really missed those times.. but, my time has past, its now the younger one turn..

when ppl reach the time they are working, got to think alot of stuff.. well.. im tired i guess..

anw.. happy chinese new year.. will be in sarawak for a week.. its good if i can take the week to rethink of my future.. where im heading.. i need a break.. from lots of stuff.. i dun wan to continue my life meaningless.. work, class, eat, sleep... im tired of it.. I NEED GOD..

ok.. long enuf, bored enuf, messy enuf.. well, my thoughts are messy 2nite..

from,
*PriestHead*

bandslam..

Bandslam.. a typical rockstar wannabe high skul kids.. dats the show all about.. normal storyline, normal plot, u can predict wats gonna happen next.. those kind of typical US high skul show.. but.. the one thing is different is den those normal other shows.. the cast they find, can really play and sing.. as in, real voice, live playing.. no joke.. well, is either they are real, or dey can really act well, and "play" according to the beat and timing and all.. dats the one good thing about the show..

the songs are, not bad, hmm.. quite good actually.. at least is original, but the song that pweety girl sing, its improvised.

the use of trumpet, trombone, sax, and cello in the band is darn freaking nice.. u hear the cello going solo.. whooo.. wat darn good combination they have.. freaking cool..

so yea.. its a good show.. oh btw, the drummer in the show, is really a drummer.. i mean.. in real life, he can play drums.... whoo...

welll... guess dats bout my movie preview.. well, if u are interested in music, dats a show to catch.. to realize ur rockstar wannabe dreams... like me..

well.. i dun recommend u to watch in cinema, grab a dvd... much cheaper.. in malaysia.. hahaha..

who am i?

who i really am?
identity crisis somehow
thought it has past long time ago
but yea.. its coming back again..

who is this person im in?
this person whom i dunno anymore
times past, people change..
and i dunno who am i anymore

will U find me, lead me and teach me
to be who u really want me to be
I cant do it without You
coz, without You, im lost

my life is jus so shit at the moment
but im clinging on to You
not gonna let my problems pull me from You
but im gonna see You solve it

sometimes it really needs trials
to see the mighty works of Your hands
when things are alright for me
I tend to forget who gave me these

After all these trials
I realize who i really is
and what i want in life..
That is You, Jesus

and after all these problems
I know what i must do and pursue
You make me realize things
that i think its over

*another writing session from priesthead*

feverish

haiz.. after some breaking sad news, no car to drive period, cleaning up store room, doing ntg at office, classes dat i doze off easily.. added new misery, feverish/flu..

well.. got to blame my office for dat.. coz, when one person fall sick, everyone will start to feel d same d.. looks like, im dead meat too..

feeling extremely unmotivated.. seems to be my down period again.. din noe wats going on with me.. tired is not a factor, but, unmotivated makes me tired and restless.. dun like d feeling of this (not emo), but, jus feel so erm... down, in a sense..

but.. wat can i do bout it? i guess, oh wait, "im sure" is the better term for it, PRAYER.. prayer can do wonders.. seriously wonders.. when we are connected to God in prayer, we will felt the peace, knowing dat God is in control.. its jus so amazing.. sometimes we got to face troubles, to only realize how awesome God is..

anw.. think i will rest early again.. really really tired from working and attending classes...

*PriestHead*

Only You Lord...

when Im done, You are there
when things goes wrong, You are there
When giant came, You are there
Protecting me, giving me Hope

When i face problems, You came
when i need help, You came
When everything else fails
You never fails

What have I done, dat You love me so much
Nothing i can do, dat can repay You
Only my life, my all, I offer to You
Will you take my life..
Make me Yours, Forever

I have nothing else to offer
cause what I have is Yours
and nothing can beat
what You have given to me

Only You Lord, that can save me from my troubles
Only You Lord, that can pull me from within
Nothing else, that can do what You do
Cause there is only One Lord, One God, My Savior..
Thank You God..

Only You care, cause You see wats deep within me
Only You care, cause You understand everything
Only You Lord, whom You love me unconditionally
Thank You Lord, Thank You Lord
Thank You for everything

You answers my prayers
You gave me hope
when all seems lost
You open up Your arm
"its ok My son, I have you now", You said

Lord, im sorry for my sins
im sorry to dissapoint u every time
U love me, yet i still sin

God, guide me thru these days
it will not be easy
but U will be there
U will be there...


*facing stuff right now, and those words came to me.. i guess, wat i think and i wat actually face, is 2 different thing.. i thot i can.. but i cant. i guess dats all from me*


written from a person called priesthead.. i wonder y i choose dat name..

wow.. im getting lazier...

darn.. i have no car to drive until my next car come... which is like this coming week or next.. which means, i cant go out on weekends? OMG!!! gonna be stuck at home.. haiz..

been feeling restless and all dat kind of shit again.. dats y, i would prefer to hang outside rather den staying at home thinking bout stuff, worrying bout stuff, dat dun even noe will it happen or not.. sometimes, killing ppl (COD4) and zombies (L4D) do help release stress.. seeing blood all over the zombies.. whoo.. pure violence(christian who love killing zombies and violence.. bad example to follow)..

well.. hope... everything will be fine... and i mean.. seriously fine...

oh.. have to clean my company's store room 2molo.. darn... so dusty in need.. have to collect out the old files too... sigh... well.. dats part of being a guy in the company.. (only 5 guys around, 1 boss's son, 1 manager, 1 senior, 2 junior(which im one of dem)).. cool rite..

haiz.. think i better force myself to take a nap.. im tired.. but... cant sleep due to some reasons... haiz...

seriously... im lazy...

after a stressful time at work.. manage to finish my june accounts company(dun care bout dat).. haha.. life is not easy now.. churches been attk.. mosque been attk too.. and a sikh temple too.. seriously.. i wonder wat is happening here in malaysia.. do we have ntg to turn to but violence? can violence solve anything? my tears drops, when i see the comment made by our country leaders regardings this issues.. although im not a fan of politics and all dat thing.. but i do realise one thing.. where are the other components party when "U noe who" is doing? all of dem are struggling with their own internal problems.. and dis is who we vote for? ppl fighting within themselves.. weird.. really weird.. wheres the rakyat 1st concept they say in their manifesto? hahaha.. joke of the year..

well.. its up to dem to rule this country.. we got to learn how to accept things the way it is.. by dat I doesen mean i compromise wat they are doing.. but, jus knowing the fact that God is in control in every situation we are in.. wat we can do is limited.. without God helping us.. we are no one..

well.. i din wanna comment more on these sensitive issues.. but I do appreciate my fellow malaysian, be it malay, chinese, indians, iban, kadazan, and watever race u can find in Malaysia, standing up for peace.. i think the 1Malaysia concept is awaken by this issues.. ALL rakyat Malaysia, hates violence..

too anyone who bump into this post.. i hope we will live as one nation.. i noe religious differences will have conflict in between.. but, as a nation who loves peace, maybe we put aside our differences and build this country up..

Thank you,
Priesthead

new year

erm... jus realize i din blog anything bout new year.. or even christmas.. had a great time though.. playing bass during christmas, really tested my fingers.. and for watchnight service, my vocals range..

bout work.. quite stressful knowing dat i had 2 accounts going to due dis month.. and seriously, its not easy to do those accts... haiz.. stress i think.. really stress.. and workload is not dropping down..

well.. i wish well for those in RBS.. and looks like.. i need sleep now.... =/

nitez...