Friday, June 27, 2008

wat the heck....

well, my title is ntg to do wif the post im gonna write..

i entered my 2nd week of work.. i went to my 2nd cf meeting.. and well, is about passion.. but, im not gonna tok anything bout that.. coz is not the things i've in mind now..

week is been tough on me.. i received jus so many news that im so discourage to hear, and i found out news that i really dunno how to react.. i really dunno, is that really wat God wants me to go thru?? is this the better way for me?? i really really dunno... the fact is, no one noes anything that God has in mind for us..

y do i have to go through this stage over and over again?? and the answer is DUNNO...

to tell the truth, i really hate the answer dunno.. and i really hate uncertainty in life.. even in my past relationship, i keep asking questions that "force" u noe who to give me an answer "dunno".. and i really hate that.. but the thing is.. dunno is the answer to many answers in life... we cannot escape that.. we have to received many dunno answers... for example, a very typical malaysian question and answer... "where to eat ah?? Dunno la..."... get it?? and really we jus have to go thru it no matter how much we hate it...

and now, im asking the same question again... will God answer me this time?? i dunno.. sometimes im jus do not listen to His still small voice... I do not keep quiet and have a silent moment wif Him... i keep on doing stuff, being distracted over things.. and i jus cant listen to Him.. wat a fool!!! im a fool!!! seriously, im really really useless.. i jus dunno wat m i studying for... most of my fren get satisfied when they get A's.. dats why they study.. most of them aiming for high pay, thats why they study.. i dun aim for anything, i dun get satisfied in being a A student.. i dun aim for high pay... y?? i dun have motivation to study sometimes... even i have, is onli for 15 minutes... dats all... i cant concentrate... no matter how hard i try, i jus cant... see how useless i am.. very........

haiz.. i dunno la.. wat motivates me?? I DUNNO!!!!

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