RBS..

i think.. after 6 years since my rbs days, i really missed those days.. days where we are without our phones, computers, internet, tv.. imagine calling back home using those phone cards.. how traditional is dat.. seeing 2day, how rbs have change the lives of the young ppl 2day, i remembered during my rbs days, when we were challenged to surrender our lives to God.. is not easy.. after my rbs days, i was on fire.. i mean, seriously on fire for God.. but, as times past, the fire began to watered down.. not so passionate about God, do things jus for the sake of doing.. not putting in any effort..

well.. i guess, its jus me.. chasing bout living happily ever after.. get a degree, get a job, get higher pay, get married, have kids, have grandkids, everyone is happy, im happy, den i meet God in heaven.. sounds so.. normal..

im ok in my work, but, i dun feel the passion in working as an auditor.. i dun feel d joy of working.. not dat im lazy, maybe im, but.. i dun have the thing for it...

i noe, as kids, we were trained to go for a good career, have a good family, to play safe, make sure u have enuf money to feed ur wife and kids, and bla bla bla.. i dunno.. but, i dun see myself able to chase all those things.. i felt.. shit.. confuse..

my senior asked me.. "wat do u want to do next time?" it got me thinking.. well, she can see dat im not really into the accounts type of person.. and i told her, music.. after rbs, or wait, after when i get back from scotland, i din noe wat to do.. i was den thinking of doing sound engineering.. layman terms, sound system, pa systems, recording, mixing of tracks, production dat kind of stuff.. listening to bands putting their tracks together, and making it sounds good.. dats my passion... but, it is not a "safe" job, where job opportunity is low.. well, got fired from my parents by it.. well, maybe dey are right, so well, here am i.. doing a "safe" job..

there are many challenges dat i face after RBS.. 1st thing when i get into the car, my mum asked, "now rbs is over, have u thought of wat to study?".. i really dunno.. i seriously dunno.. i have nv thought of doing wat im doing now.. checking accounts, rushing deadlines.. oh man... im sick of the thought of it..

i dunno.. maybe im jus not the 9-5 kinda ppl.. i prefer flexible hour.. but, i jus noe i cant.. i dun dare to go into any relationship right now.. coz, i dun dare to commit yet.. well, u need to have the money b4 u can have the girl, which is true.. i mean, u dun expect to pay AA when u go out with her right? and i can say im traditional thinking.. getting into a relationship means, thinking bout marriage in the future.. which means, u need to get a house, and money to feed ur wife.. and kids.. well.. thinking too much..

well, at least 2day, it got me thinking.. the presentation, the testimonies.. everything, made me realize one thing.. GOD IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.. and dats true..

and im proud of my youth... and a man, name Luke Chang.. i dun think he rmbs me.. i was in his church during my mission trip in RBS.. and, he was jus a small kid dat time.. cute, and cheerful.. 2day, i see a man of God, standing up on stage, sharing his testimony.. i can see his fear, but, the stuff he shares, is relevant.. how God change ppl's life, how God speaks to them.. its amazing..

oh well.. i need time to think.. on my future... wat do i really want in this life? i have a heart for college students, or, in RBS, where it touches me most.. rmb singing "great awakening" facing the forest.. i really really missed those times.. but, my time has past, its now the younger one turn..

when ppl reach the time they are working, got to think alot of stuff.. well.. im tired i guess..

anw.. happy chinese new year.. will be in sarawak for a week.. its good if i can take the week to rethink of my future.. where im heading.. i need a break.. from lots of stuff.. i dun wan to continue my life meaningless.. work, class, eat, sleep... im tired of it.. I NEED GOD..

ok.. long enuf, bored enuf, messy enuf.. well, my thoughts are messy 2nite..

from,
*PriestHead*