Tuesday, April 29, 2008

tiredness

sometimes, i wish im not that emo.. well, sometimes i jus hope that i dun think too much..

fear....... is the thing that is in me rite now.. but not to worry, is what Jesus has tells us to do.. coz God will provide, and God will surely take care of us...

sadness..... is also in me rite now.. but not to worry, is what God has command us to do...

wat is the thing dat God i wanna ask to to provide for me this week??
answer: answer to all my questions.. and also provide me wif concentration to study...

alot of things is still haunting me.. telling me dat i shud have done better.. i shud have done it the other way.. i shud have start studying..

sometimes i jus dun understand why ppl like to make fun or make a joke around me.. haha... i really dunno why.. i admit im slow, tok nonsense at times.. blur.. well... dat maybe the reasons.. but somehow, i began to learn how to be patience.. how to be quiet.. i learn that when i dun argue back or tok back to ppl in a harsh way, i dun make these things got worst... maybe im jus passive about stuff... im not an outgoing person.. most of the time if im out yum cha wif frens, im the most quiet person there.. even got once my fren even kutuk me kao kao but i still keep quiet without saying anything to reply him.. maybe previous experience makes me feels insecure.. and the most recent case is that i make a fren angry, and i dun even noe what happens until she told me..

previous failure makes me worried bout my exams.. wat if i fail again?? sometimes when i enter the exam hall, i somehow felt scared.. scared i cant do well... and that fear is in me for nearly 2 years now... i do not want to fail again.. i do not want to waste my parents money again.. previous relationship makes me scared to start a new relationship.. previous failures is still haunting me...

why?? i have ntg to say.......

this post basically is jus wat i thought.. it is without a flow.. coz everything is stuck in my head........ i felt restless most of the time... i really want to study.. but, i dunno is laziness or really there is something that i still cant let go... i noe that if i still let the past hold me back, i cant do well in my studies...

i need a new life Lord....... pls renew my life... let the past be the past... but i noe, without getting the answers bout wat happen previously, i cant fully let go of it..................................

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