Am i feeling better?? Shud I change church??

Well, finally got an msg from her which she sounded angry.. ya, but nvm.. looks like is time to let go of stuff which i cant control.. hope everything will be fine when 2day is over.. i dun think i would want to msg her dis few days.. let her anger cool down 1st la..

i finished my 8am class early, so went wif those january intake ppl for "breakfast" at Kopitiam.. well, is good to noe more ppl rite.. ya, so was like chit chatting and my reputation nearly gone.. haha.. but it was fun toking wif them.. so ya, went for lecture after dat, and i nearly slept.. coz was too tired.. and she was boring.. so, trying very hard to pay attention in class.. but cant.. and my mind was full of that stuff.. so still trying to forget..

reuben come and find us during lunch time jus now.. ya, he is working like "mad" now.. haha a long time din see fren.. well, good fren i can say when me, him, neoh, leonard chua hang out most of the nite in subang doing stupid things.. well, dat was the past.. miss those 2 jokers.. haha..

holiday coming, but more assignment pilling up.. now is time for worrying.... haha.. hope i can let go all these stuff dat is going.. well.. thank God!!

dunno whether is there any CC dis week coz holiday.. if got, wish to bring my church worship team to go there for a visit.. coz they can observe how those ppl play..

was thinking bout some stuff in mind.. shud i change church?? i mean really, as i look at the things dat are happening around me, i somehow felt dissapointed.. not at them, but at myself.. the thing is, i cant actually communicate much wif dem now.. really praying very hard now.. maybe i shud wait till after chen wee come back from his back packing 1st.. i think the way i do things now is making most of the ppl around me feel mad at me.. maybe of the words i say or the things i do.. maybe my attitude.. basically, i dun think im actually "qualified" in being their teacher.. yup.. is jus me dat is being weird.. well.. i really dunno wat to do now.. feel like changing to HGC though.. a church that is started by ps ryan.. they ask me to visit dem, but until now cant find a suitable time to go there.. maybe one of dis week, will go there.. wat shud i do.. the things that are really holding me back from switching church is the "kam ching"(cantonese), the worship team, and TC.. dis 3 is really holding me in SWCC.. dunno la.. how will i handle this problems.. maybe i shud consult ps ryan, or calvin tay.. haiz..

well.. got presentation later.. better prepare soon.. and of coz, play my facebook 1st.. give some advice on the matter of changing church.. i really need alot of advice on dat..

signning off
jOkEr

wat can i do now?? i've pray.. i better pray more...

jOkeR

i was being a jerk for the whole nite yesterday.. well.. maybe bcoz of my new found attitude dat is so &&$% dat im jus so tired of being me.. maybe i did pissed someone off yesterday, and really, dun like d way i am now..

i somehow got an answer yesterday.. i dunno is dat d one, but, at least i know im in deep trouble.. weird case scenario.. din noe how to put it in words, but, feel so bad bout it..

Thank God dat i felt much more better 2day, den yesterday which i force myself to sleep so dat i dun have to think so many things.. now im jus worried bout one thing.. is she really mad at me now?? i msged her, but no reply.. wonder how is she..

din noe wat to write.. maybe i shud not write so long 2day.. but if things are really going the way i hope to, i hope, she will forgive me...

Well, is too early to tok bout bday's present for me, or wish.. but, if i get to choose, i choose to have a present that will make my thoughts/troubles/worriedness/jerk-attitude, go away.. dats the things i hope for.. i felt bad..

though u may not noe who am i writting about, jus wish to say sorry..

Signning off
jOkEr

Sorry for all the shit things i did to make u angry.. will u forgive??

more answers??

hmm.. cant concentrate well during class jus now.. my mind was wondering away, and i cant tahan the "jokes" dat my lecturer made.. it was quite funny, but, not for my mood today to laugh.. i kind of felt irritated by dat.. my mind was full of things, questions, dat i could not answer.. maybe not today.. but i hope, those answer will come to me asap.. really.. i really hope so..

was very quiet the whole day 2day.. lunch time, i almost bored Kiwi and Nicole to death.. coz both oso ask me why am i quiet.. but, nah, din really answer them.. jus dun feel like toking.. haih.. reason i blogged quite alot dis few days is bcoz there are things i really dunno who to tell.. there are problems, but as i scroll down my contacts on my phone, i could not find anyone suitable to tell of my problems.. and come to think of it, i dun really have any really close to heart frens where i can pour out my problems wif.. Jesus is there, but i cant really find anyone else.. maybe im not frenly enuf gua.. there is one sms kaki la, but if things get too personal, i really dunno who can i accountable wif.. haiz.. wat kind of fren am i.. real bad..

anw.. somehow do not feel like going back, coz once i reach back, thoughts will jus fill my minds.. but.. nah, no choice.. jus really pray dat i will get over those things fast enuf.. if God do not give me any answer, i hope He helped me forget it.. haha.. weird prayer..

gtg now.. tired of classes d.. began to feel sleepy.. dats it for 2day..

nitez
(although is onli 5pm)

Signning off
jOkEr

I really hope dat God will provide me a way out of this place..

answer??

For the whole day yesterday, which is a sunday, i was asking for some answers to some of my questions dat are really bugging me.. it has been really distract me from worshipping properly, from studying and many other things.. i realise dis few days, i have not been focusing on the things im suppose to do.. and that thought jus came into my mind most of the time.. i really hope i get an answer to those question asap.. sometimes i jus hope dat God will give me an answer directly den to give me hints here and there, coz i dunno is dat a hint or not oso.. haiz

i was sick the whole day on sat, after coming back from worship practice.. i got an severe headache.. i mean real bad.. yea, so i was jus lying down, trying to fall asleep.. den i jus thought of last time when i fall sick, dat person will jus be there to ask me to get well.. erm.. jus some normal things, but dunno why dat time i felt so special about it.. haih.. maybe is jus those time of happiness.. haiz.. too bad, time has gone...

on sunday, really played my best for worship, trying not to be distracted at all.. i think im the only musician is moving around.. haha.. coz, i boring if i jus stand there and play.. and yang keep changing his guitar here and then.. haha..

on my way to college, heard this song from Casting Crown, Voice Of Truth.. is a song which really reminds me of who am i listening to.. izzit the voice of the evil one, or the voice of God.. the evil one tells me dat i will fail, but God, tells a different story.. is a really nice song to hear, the lyrics jus struck me..

Was browsing through the photos taken by my phone.. well, pick some nice pic and post here..

This is my car key....

Hoc mun typing stuff into his laptop.. this is when we are having camp comm meeting

This belongs to my students.. kasihan the dog..

Dun ask me how they come out wif this.. anw.. dis are my teens....

gtg now.. class starting

after a tiring day

CC was awesome yesterday.. d worship was good, lots of new ppl came 2day.. but, one thing dat really impact me most is Elder's msg.. seriously.. when he say the sentence "let go of ur hurt, God has healed it", i felt is being directly speaking to me.. coz during pre-service prayer, i prayed dat God will help me go through these times (cant share here, but u all are allowed to guess), and i do not want all these things to distract my service to Him.. den suddenly God speak through Elder and the msg really speaks to me.. when i pray dat prayer, i began to feel more relax.. yes, the "hurt" can't straight away go, but i noe God is putting back my heart, and patching it up.. really thank God for dat.. THANK GOD..

after CC, rush of to play badminton.. had a great time there wif my classmate.. after dat, went for tea.. order this roti called, roti tampal.. is rotil canai wif an egg in the middle.. i wonder how they did it, it is not roti telur... is roti tampal.. haha.. den ask them wanna play dota or not.. den all play.. 4 of us.. wif our humilating losses.. haha.. though we lost, but, we had lots of fun joking around.. haha.. good frens... hehe.. den went of for dinner.. at least i noe the food at PINKEE was not bad actually.. haha.. i thot is bad at 1st, but after trying it, not bad la.. hehe..

yesterday reach home around 10pm after everything, den after doing my normal stuff, went to sleep at 11 something.. coz was too tired to do anything.. eheh..

dis morning, woke up, fetch my mum to work, was stuck at the sunway ldp toll for around 30 minutes.. i was like so dam pissed wif that toll.. joker la.. make's ppl life miserable.. haha.. thank God i got no class 2day, if not, will be late.. haha.. den came back, watch tv, 10 something, rush of to jo's hse to pass her the song for this sunday.. and im scared of her hse dogs.. they are scary.. maybe i got no "yuen" wif them.. see me den barked at me.. haiz.. sad case..

later going to play ping pong wif my class mates.. hope they dun fong my fei kei.. purposely come to play.. if not, will be sleeping at home.. hehe..

anw, gtg now.. now my muscle ache like nobody's business.. haha.. anw, began to like this song.. is "Lift Your Name Up" by planet shakers.. coz was playing dat song for CC yesterday too.. so, ya, here's the lyrics..

verse1
I'm gonna lift You up
Higher than all things
Above every name

Cause You are my God and King
You made everything
So I give You all my praise

pre-chorus
I'm gonna lift Your name up
So everyone can see You live in me

Chorus
Shine Your light in me
So all the world will see
The power of Your majesty
Jesus I will lift Your name up
Let Your Spirit fall on me
Now so that all the
World will know that You're my God
Jesus I will lift Your name up

Verse3
I'm so in love with You
Everything You do
Everything You say

You never let me go
You're always in control
And I give You all my praise

Bridge
Jesus I will liftYour name up
Higher than all other names
You are my God
You are my King
You are my


Dats all ppl..

Signning off
jOkEr

nothing to write

Dreams

Are dreams not true?? izzit dat dreams wont come true.. coz there is a pharse that says, " dream dat will come true, is not a dream". so is dat statement correct?? haiz.. really felt weird sometimes when i dream of something nice, it somehow wont happen.. haha.. nvm.. jus some weird emo kind of thinking.. anw.. dream of something nice yesterday.. i mean quite nice la.. haha..

anw.. was here early in college coz got meeting for our FA assignment.. well.. i have no idea coz i haven read the financial report yet.. nvm, will go wif the flow of the meeting.. so that ppl think as if i read it.. haha.. chun rite??

had the TC's teacher's meeting and we discuss bout things dat will be doing next year.. so was pouring my ideas.. well, hope it does help.. anw.. wat TC camp is one step closer to being done as we have one adult following us.. yes.. thank God for answered prayer.. now we have to pray for speaker and for campers.. and i believe if God wants us to have dis camp, he will surely provide.. Jehovah Jireh (do u noe wat he means).. read ur bible ppl!!!

i will be playing at CC service 2day.. on bass.. and dis song really keeps on plays in my mind yesterday and 2day.. the song is called.. "till i see u".. it was not a new songs, but the words really speaks to me.. let me see if i can find the lyrics..

Verse1
The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

Verse2
With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

Chorus
I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

Verse3
You are a voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

Bridge
You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

Signning off
Joker

Where are u??

morning at Uni

Was suppose to have lecture at 8am, but was cancelled due to he ask us to find out information for our assignment.. so.. was in com lab as early as possible.. but, still haven start searching coz wanna do some personal stuff 1st.. like checking facebook and blogging..

sometimes i find it quite shocking where i can write so many things here.. maybe there is too many things on my mind which i dunno where to tell.. so by using my fingers, begin to write stuff and nonsense here.. yea.. so was thinking much yesterday nite.. but din think too long coz was too sleepy.. so finally knocked up at 11 something.. dats early for me.. haha

i jus finished watching d drama "on the 1st beat".. is d 2nd part of "police academy", which is shown in astro i think beginnging dis year.. well.. someone actually told me most of the part of the story.. so jus the last 2 episods.. well.. d ending was not dat nice la.. but it still a nice show which can make me think.. haha.. some drama is jus for entertaining.. but at least dis makes me think.. haha.. well.. i rmb in d 1st episod where dis police's gf went overseas to furthur her studies.. well.. it somehows remind me on the things dat happens in the airport when i went overseas to study.. it somehow still very fresh in my memories.. it was one of the saddest moment of my life, where to leave everything behind here and go there.. haiz.. but thank God im back here.. haha.. but somehow, my thoughts will lead me to her.. hmm.. how would i say it.. jus will think bout her whenever i saw things/someone dat will reminds me of her.. haiz.. den dun really feel like toking to anybody else for a few moments.. haha.. well.. dun really like dat...

nvm.. stop toking bout dat things d.. well.. no target for me at this moment.. coz unreachable target=no target..

so, no point.. haha.. nvm.. guess im confusing everyone who is reading dis post now.. haha..

Well, finally, wanna congrats Kien Kiet and Boon Heong for winning the danish open.. well, they played really really well in finishing up those veterans.. haha.. must win again in France..

and AC, start winning some games..

Both of dem wont read dis post.. ya, so dunno i write for wat.. haha.. (lame)

anw.. gtg and find some article for my assignment.. if not... DEAD!!

Signning off
jOkEr

hmm.. i wonder............

not in the mood

hmm.. jus finish my lunch.. i mean half an hour ago.. well.. ate at uncle seng.. hmm.. dunno why 2day i dun have the mood to tok wif anyone though.. was very quiet the whole time as i ate my food.. is weird.. things really got into my mind.. maybe i was thinking bout her.. dat makes me wonder why.. things in the past, things dat had happens really bugged me most of the time though.. sometimes is jus hard to stop thinking bout stuff, but when situation is bored, u will jus somehow think of somethings.. so.. was looking as if was seeing some other ppl.. was looking here and there but my mind is at another place.. haiz.. wat a joker am i.......

jus hope that things will get better later.. i really hope so...

no mood until dunno wat to write.. so wont be writting much..

Signning off
jOkEr

still wondering wat d brazilian is writting..

Last class at bsf

Yesterday after my post, went to class.. oh man.. i was so damm sleepy.. haha.. maybe bcoz i watch tvb series on sunday nite until 2 in the morning.. ya.. so was like zombie.. especially in my HRM class.. cant stop yawning and dozing off.. haha.. i think ms daphne(my lecturer) saw me doing dat, and dozing, but she din say anything lo.. coz she noes im still listening.. hehe i hope.. ya.. after dat really tired class, went for lunch.. eat Chicken rice again.. maybe i dunno anything else to eat.. so makan..... tok....... haha.. den kacau my tax lecturer until he can rmb my name.. i was like WAT!! how can he noe my name.. haiz.. dis time die d.. going to suffer for the rest of my life in his class.. hehe..

Well, rush back after class.. bought my new FM modulator.. so now can plugged in my mp3 player in my car to listen to more songs.. yea.... den sleep for 20 minutes before i dragged myself out from bed to go for bsf.. had fellowship at Raju, which is not bad.. i mean the food there is nice la.. for a mamak la.. so makan makan, den hop into Han Tang's car and go for bsf.. wasn't really paying attention to the sharing (last class for bsf is the sharing by the members).. coz my one of my closest frens having some problems.. ya so smsing all the way.. but still managed to catch some of the things they shared.. hehe.. ya.. after dat, followed my dad to collect my car from the mamak there.. lucky nothing happens to my car.. den makan supper wif my dad.. hehe.. at the restaurant, met the RBS committee who was having their meeting there.. argh.. miss the times ups in cameron.. dunno hows everyone now.. coz no one logged in to circles d.. especially my mission trip members.. dunno how are they.. hope watever they do, dey will succeed..

ya, actually planned to cont watching the show, but realise i havent done my hw.. so try and do afap(as fast as possible).. manage to finished it.. den sleep.. hehe.. too tired d..

anw.. hope u guys have a great day ahead.. especially........ haha.. nah.. gtg soon.. class starting soon.. ciao

Signning off
jOkEr

hope she will have a great day ahead 2day..

wats my future like??

I attend the FES annivesary dinner last sat.. well, it was good.. coz the food was ok.. and there are lots of ppl at PJGH.. well, manage to sit at a comfortable place.. well, to cut the crap.. during the dinner, i actually thought of going into full time ministry wif FES.. din noe why, but im touch by AYA/Campus City, i wanted to do the same next time after i graduate, maybe few years later as i need to earn some basic money 1st.. hmm.. maybe 3 to 5 years after i graduate, i would want to be an FES workers.. well, though im not directly "thought" by dem, bt dunno, i was touched by all the things they did in diff campuses.. well, still praying about it..

dat saturday morning, went for worship workshop at my church.. thanks to uncle richie, ben tay, and nigel tay, they thought us many things on how to play as a band.. really learn alot from them.. hope can invite them again to teach us more things.. hehe

on sunday, nothing much happens.. but i think my bass playing is too much.. i mean i goreng too much until it sounded not dat nice d.. well, shud not goreng and goreng.. after teens, forget to ask yaw eng bout the camp speaker and all.. argh!!!.. now the camp dunno izzit going to be on coz worried got no speaker and worried got not enuf campers going.. well.. jus have to pray hard for dat.. hopes everything will be fine.. hehe.. ya, manage to get discount from chen wee's mum for the price for accomodation.. Thank God!!

things about her keeps me wondering most of the time actually.. dunno why, though jus lying down on my bed.. well, really hope there will be a time i manage to handle these things properly.. haiz.. relationships really makes ppl feel happy, and feel sad.. and the happy times makes u feel happy, but, sometimes, it hurts u.. well.. not going to dwell too much on it..

anw.. gtg now.. class starting soon.. in 15 minutes.. bye bye

hmm, when will be the time for changes to happens

Signning off