feeling stupid

was feeling stupid all the way jus now.. thinking of wat i've done but all gone to waste.. really dunno how on earth am i to get out of it.. argh.. how how how?????

camp was postpone.. due to some forseen circumstances.. not much ppl are going.. no choice so have to cancel it.. i felt disappointed actually.. really.. after much planning and all.. but, maybe God has His own purpose.. anw.. started to plan for our outing.. which for quite sometime TC does not have any outing at all.. well.. hope Taman Desa Waterpark is the place where we can go.. rmb the last time i went was in 2003.. after my BK quiz..

really felt bad bcoz of postponing the camp.. dunno la... the teens looks quite sad, i suppose.. haiz.. din really noe wat to do at that point.. dunno la.. now felt so stupid, so lazy, so jokerish.. argh.. all the weird and lousy thoughts jus came to me.. i need PHIP 4:8..

dunno why.. her words seems to pierce through me very easily.. when she uses words which i think she is not really happy, i gt this feeling of pain, i would jus go blank.. shud i go on like dis?? i felt tired.. ppl say although the year is coming to an end, but is not over.. wat can i still do to make dis year a memorable one?? there is jus so much hurt and pain which i cant seems to forget.. i've been asking for a breakthrough.. so at least dis year, during Christmas, and my bday, i wont keep thinking on wat has happen in the past.. thinking of wat happen last time makes me happy awhile, but it wont last long..

"God, i know U heard me, i really need a breakthrough.. im not going anywhere wif dis condition, things are jus not like dat anymore.. it has gone worst.. I really hope, there is something i can rmb from dis year dat is memorable.. In Jesus Name, AMEN..."